Actual ad from a newspaper:
Gnomes for sale.
72 gnomes, many retired.
Value approx. $8,500.
Will Sacrifice.
Serious Inquiries only.
Doesn't the face on that little Gnome touch your heart? Here he is outside the Cafe des 2 Moulins in Paris. Now it seems that when he gets home he will be facing sacrifice along with 71 of his close Gnome friends. Gnomes have feelings, you know. They also have names.
How do you think you would feel having a price on your head? Even knowing that you are only worth about $120 is devastating. By the way, at what age do you think Gnomes retire? All the Gnomes I have known have been hundreds of years old. Perhaps this pictured Gnome is on a trip that followed his retirement party.
The person who placed this ad is opening themselves up to be contacted by the AARP. The AARP doesn't take it lightly to have potential or actual members sacrificed. Do you think that the euthanasia of Gnomes is just the beginning and that people are next? Perhaps this is a test to determine public opinion before introducing euthanasia in Congress. Just a couple of years ago we saw the attempted demise of the plastic pink flamingo yard ornament and now we have moved on to Gnomes. It could be small dogs living in trailer parks next. You never know.
This is a call for help. Rescue these Gnomes before they are all sacrificed and all we have is a distant memory of how Gnomes have touched our lives. Take up a collection using coffee cans sitting on a store counter if you must, but I plead with you, have compassion on these Gnomes whose only crime has been to grow old. You will be there yourself one day, you know.
Please, please senior citizen Gnomes should not have to face this. Call now before it's too late. The author of the ad doesn't say when exactly the sacrifice will take place. Act quickly.
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