Little Miss Muffet Revisited

Writing Prompt: Rewrite a nursery rhyme (Three Blind Mice, Jack and Jill, etc.) from a character's point of view.

"Mom, can I have breakfast under the tree out front?"

"Are you dressed?"

"I can be in just a minute."

"I'll get your bowl of curds and whey ready. You might want to take something to sit on so you won't get dirty."

"Okay. I'm ready."

The door slammed and Miss Muffet carefully carried her bowl to the base of the tree. Sitting there, she watched the birds playing at the bird feeder and the sheep playing in the nearby field.
As she sat, a spider made his way to within inches of Miss Muffet's face. Seeing movement from the side, Miss Muffet turned her head and found herself eyeball to eyeball with the spider. Jumping up, she knocked the bowl of curds and whey into the dirt.

"Mom, Mom! A spider!"

Rubber Ducky

"Stop already. I have ten people coming for dinner and this is a disaster."

"But it's funny. Don't you think it's funny?"

"NO. What am I going to feed these people?"

"I'm sure you'll think of something. Look at it this way, you have the entertainment covered."

"Help me find something that will work to cut this thing. I've tried every knife in the drawer, even the serrated ones. I've even tried the electric knife. The only thing I haven't tried is a circular saw."

"Even if we figure out how to cut the duck, do you think it might be a bit "chewy"?

"You may be right. The only thing worse than not being able to slice through the skin on this duck would be watching a dinner guest attempting to chew a bite of it."

"Why don't you put together a pasta dish and I will go find the karaoke machine."

"Karaoke?"

"Sure, I figure we could have a contest for who can do the best rendition of "Rubber Ducky, you're the one. . . "

"The next thing you'll want to do is to throw the duck on the table and see if it bounces. It certainly has a high potential in that area."

"Maybe we could play Duck, Duck, Goose too."

"This is ridiculous. They are going to be here in an hour and I have NOTHING to feed them. I wonder if I should get pizza. And, stop singing, 'LLama, llama, duck'."

Writing Exercise: Deja Vu?

Dear Person who needs somebody to go back in time,

I am extremely interested in the concept of time travel and need a bit more information. How far back in time do you wish to go? I've been thinking, and if I were to go with you, I would like to travel back to the Middle Ages. I really like the clothes and would love to live in a castle. Oh yes, where exactly do you see as a landing spot? Landing in the ocean would not have the same draw as landing in Paris, for example. In addition, I would need an idea where and when the landing would be in order to appropriately arm myself. I would like to keep my weapons light, but want them to also be effective.

How much are you planning to pay once we get back? You are going with the person who answers this ad, aren't you?

Would you be able to share some information as to your methodology. How have you developed time travel? I realize that you will wish to keep some of this information confidential. You don't want someone else running with your idea, but I have done extensive research in this regard, and may be able to assist with any "bugs" that may occur.

I have a couple weeks vacation coming up in June, and could potentially go at that time. Give me a call at 555-555-5555 and we can discuss the details.

Thank you for this exceptional opportunity. I can't wait for your call.

Albert Einstein

Writing Exercise: Gnomes for Sale

Actual ad from a newspaper:

Gnomes for sale.
72 gnomes, many retired.
Value approx. $8,500.
Will Sacrifice.
Serious Inquiries only.


Doesn't the face on that little Gnome touch your heart? Here he is outside the Cafe des 2 Moulins in Paris. Now it seems that when he gets home he will be facing sacrifice along with 71 of his close Gnome friends. Gnomes have feelings, you know. They also have names.

How do you think you would feel having a price on your head? Even knowing that you are only worth about $120 is devastating. By the way, at what age do you think Gnomes retire? All the Gnomes I have known have been hundreds of years old. Perhaps this pictured Gnome is on a trip that followed his retirement party.

The person who placed this ad is opening themselves up to be contacted by the AARP. The AARP doesn't take it lightly to have potential or actual members sacrificed. Do you think that the euthanasia of Gnomes is just the beginning and that people are next? Perhaps this is a test to determine public opinion before introducing euthanasia in Congress. Just a couple of years ago we saw the attempted demise of the plastic pink flamingo yard ornament and now we have moved on to Gnomes. It could be small dogs living in trailer parks next. You never know.

This is a call for help. Rescue these Gnomes before they are all sacrificed and all we have is a distant memory of how Gnomes have touched our lives. Take up a collection using coffee cans sitting on a store counter if you must, but I plead with you, have compassion on these Gnomes whose only crime has been to grow old. You will be there yourself one day, you know.

Please, please senior citizen Gnomes should not have to face this. Call now before it's too late. The author of the ad doesn't say when exactly the sacrifice will take place. Act quickly.

Writing Exercise: Make it Fit

"What are we going to do, Ralph? The coffin is too small?"

"I told Mr. Getts that the idea of prepaying for a funeral was not just creepy, but not a good idea. What happens if a person prepays and doesn't die for thirty years?"

"Maybe that's what happened here. The guy was fifteen years old when they prepaid and he grew another seven inches."

"Don't be silly, Steve, they don't put a coffin on layaway, waiting until the person dies. I think Mr. Getts is trying to save money. The price of coffins has gone up from the time the guy paid and anything over six feet long is a hefty extra cost."

"Do you think we should say something to the family?"

"What, and lose our job? NO."

"So, how are we going to fit Rodney here in this coffin?"

"If we take off his shoes and turn his knees sideways we should be able to squash him in. We need to make sure, however, that they don't have a fully open coffin for the viewing."

"What if the family finds out?"

"How are they going to find out?" Once the body is in the ground, no one will know."


----There actually was an incident in which a prepaid funeral resulted in a 6'7" body was placed in a 6' coffin.

Writing Exercise: Shark Diet

"What are you doing for dinner tonight, Sam?"

"I don't know. The doctor told Mom that I need more variety in my diet."

"Why? What have you been eating?"

"Mostly octopus. Mom keeps trying to get me to try more things, but I'm not really interested so I just bump the food with my nose and look for something else."

"Do you think you might be anorexic or bulimic? I know that Suzy has an eating disorder brought on by eating a gasoline canister."

"Don't think so, but I am wondering if maybe that time when I tried to eat a human, it was so disgusting that it took my wanting to try new things away. I am so afraid that the next time I try a new food that it will turn out to be horrible too. I will never forget the nasty taste in my mouth from that."

" Know what you mean. I've tried some really tasteless and indigestion causing things too. The time I ate a license plate and a chunk of chain I was sick for three days."

"You know, I'm getting hungry talking about food. What do you say we get a salad? I see a sea cucumber just ahead."

"A salad? You, a Great White Shark, eat salad? I can certainly see why your mom took you to the doctor."

Writing Exercise: Woodchucks

Chewing gum manufacturers around the world reeled at the news released by Gardener Magazine. It seems that a woodchuck survey has determined that woodchucks are repelled by Juicy Fruit gum. As a result, the sales of Juicy Fruit have increased 500% leaving their competitors with a small market share to split. The competitors have mobilized their marketing and research people to determine how they can pump life back into their falling sales. One researcher has committed himself to establishing why Juicy Fruit would appeal to woodchucks. Juicy Fruit has been known for years as having a very short lived fruity flavor, which after just a few chews becomes non-existent. This particular researcher has established that the woodchuck is so repulsed by the fact that the enticing aroma and flavor quickly disappears when sampled,that said woodchuck leaves the area in disgust. At this point, the determination is that the market share for gum is for the time being tied to the temporary increase in the woodchuck population and that once everyone has banished its resident woodchuck that the market would stabilize and go back to what it was originally. There is a slight hope that, having a few sticks of Juicy Fruit remaining, the consumer would be reminded, by chewing them, that there was an excellent reason why they usually bought another brand and that the woodchuck has a good reason to leave. Why would the woodchuck wish to hang around someplace that would feed him such inferior snacks?

A note of concern goes out to those who did not read the article and buy their Juicy Fruit. What do you think might happen to the neighborhood that had an infestation of woodchucks and all but one person used Juicy Fruit? I imagine that waking one morning and peering out the window at a carpet of woodchucks on your lawn might be a bit disconcerting. Just think, you laughed at your neighbors when they said they were going to try using Juicy Fruit to rid their yards of woodchucks. He who laughs first...

Penny Blessings

Found a shiny penny today. If pennies each represented a blessing, would a quarter equal twenty-five blessings? What does a person do with his blessings? I suppose one could spend them, keep them for himself, give them away, or even leave them on the ground and walk away.

If one left them on the ground and walked away from them, does that mean they don't want or need a blessing? Perhaps they left it for another person to find, hoping that that person could use a blessing? Maybe adding to the blessing would also be an option here.

If the blessed spent his blessing on himself the blessing would be short-lived, however, if the blessed spent his blessing on someone else, the blessing would be multiplied, since there would now be two people blessed.

If the blessed kept the blessing for himself and just hid it away, it would quickly lose the power to impact his life and would become just another penny in the bank.

What if the blessed invested his blessings in order to make them grow? I suppose there would be a few options here, too. Say I took my blessing and bought a lottery ticket or played the slots. The chances of a return on my blessing would be small, although several people would choose this option to increase their blessings. The most effective way I have found to double my blessings is to share them with someone else. Yes, we are talking about more than finding a penny on the sidewalk here. God has given us so much and we have the idea that if we don't keep our blessings close to us that we will lose them. The truth is, it is in sharing that we increase our blessing and in hoarding them we lose them. Think about the times you have done something for someone else, or given them something they needed. Do you remember how you felt? Do you remember how they reacted? So....who got blessed here? Yes, both of you. God asks us to tithe ten percent. Do you really think He needs the money? Of course not. The giving of the tithe is for us to learn the joy of giving.

There is a movie called, "Pay It Forward". The joy someone gets in doing for others is not something one can bottle and sell as an elixir. The glitch in all that has been said here is that in order to supercharge a blessing one must have the right attitude. Do something nice or blessing someone with the intent to receive for yourself takes the power out of the blessing. There are times that it also removes the blessed person to feel the impact of the blessing. If love and joy are attached to the blessing given, it is like attaching fireworks to the package and increases the potential for more than just a couple people to partake of the blessing.

So, if you, like me, see the penny on the ground as God's blessing to me, ask how you can be God's blessing to someone else. It's more than finding a penny, it's the joy in sharing God's love to someone else. You will find your own life has become more meaningful.

Assignment: Start a blessing log. At the end of each day write down at least one blessing that you received that day. Some days it might only be that you noticed the beauty of the open tulips in your neighbor's yard, but this exercise will result in you looking for blessings during the day and not focusing as much on the negative.

X Marks the Spot

A treasure hunt! Gone are the days of X marks the spot on a crumbling pirates map. Geocaching is the technogeeks foray into the scavenger/treasure hunt of today's world. Utilizing the Web, the Geocacher acquires the coordinates of the treasures he wishes to attempt. Then, using a GPS, the adventure begins. Boonie stomping through all sorts of terrain in search of a waterproof container just to sign it, replace it, and go on to the next treasure. It can be an easy or very difficult find. The draw is in the challenge that the puzzle presents. Perhaps Geocaching should be listed with exercise programs since there is a potential to do a fair amount of walking. More than the destination is the journey. The nest of wild turkey eggs, the baby turtle no bigger than a quarter, the lake hidden from everyday eyes, or the discovery that the world around you has more to offer than just what is seen from the road. There is also the negative side, I suppose, poison ivy, mud, snakes, thorns, or a myriad of other things. You have to admit, though, that life has positive and negetive aspects too. How much do we miss if we only play it safe? Perhaps going on pretend treasure hunts could serve to develop the daring to begin seeing life as a type of treasure hunt adventure. You never quite know where the treasure might be found, but if you refrain from taking part in the hunt, it is certain that someone else will enjoy the treasure you could have had.

Lazarus come forth

When Jesus was told Lazarus was sick and He responded basically that there was no hurry, Lazarus was going to die. Picture yourself as one of the disciples at this point. The disciples knew Jesus and Lazarus were friends and now this response. I'm sure that it seemed that the Jesus they knew that healed people had suddenly changed. How could He be so callus to dismiss the problem of His close friend? Jesus figured on fixing the problem, but the disciples couldn't imagine how He would be able to fix it? Perhaps even if they had left right away it may have been too late anyway.

Lazarus had been dead 4 days by the time Jesus and the disciples showed up. Mary refused to run to meet Jesus. What would you have felt at that time? I'm sure I would have been feeling hurt, angry, disillusioned, and wondering if Jesus had lied to her about caring for them.

I, at this time, take a look at this story and think about how I felt when my position was eliminated. Mary and I would have commiserated. It seems like God has abandoned you when He knew there was a problem and appeared to ignore it. You feel like saying, as Martha did, "You could have done something about this. Where were you? Why didn't you?" I wonder if the tears Jesus cried were more about the pain He saw in Mary and Martha than about the death of Lazarus, since He knew He was about to raise Lazarus. Jesus ordered the stone rolled away and then Lazarus to come out. I look at this as the waiting time for another job to appear and the steps that have to be taken for my job hunt to result in a resurrection. The ultimate lesson here has nothing to do with Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead. It is entirely an emphasis on God being glorified. Perhaps that is why God doesn't always answer our prayers right away. He wants the glory and if He gave us everything we prayed for every time, it would appear that the glory would go to us. We prayed, it happened, not we prayed, God made it happened.

The incident with Lazarus also was a type of prep for Jesus own death and resurrection.

The Road Not Taken

We come to many forks in the road on our journey through life. Have you ever wondered what your life would be like now if you had taken the left fork instead of the right? What if, instead of joining the Air Force I had continued to work for Sara Lee? What if I hadn't gotten a divorce? What if I hadn't lost my job at Root-Lowell? The last one is still a big question mark, but also a chance to choose another fork. Should I go left or right? Which way? I've been seeming to wander aimlessly lately. The whole adventure is like going spelunking. The cave is dark, you can't see beyond your flashlight, and if you don't take precautions you could easily get so lost you can't find your way back out. On the other hand, there is the potential of finding hidden treasure, underground beauty or seeing something no one else has ever seen. My choice right now is to either see losing my job as something terrifying and debilitating or to see it as a chance to experience something new and be looking for the hidden treasure. What I really need right now is wisdom to choose the best fork in the road. Even though I may choose the "other fork" and things don't work out as I would like, somehow, God can turn it around if I allow Him to. Perhaps having a destination in mind would be a good idea. Remember what the Cheshire Cat said to Alice,
Alice:I was just wondering if you could help me find my way.
Cheshire Cat: Well that depends on where you want to get to.
Alice: Oh, it really doesn't matter, as long as...
Cheshire Cat: Then it really doesn't matter which way you go.

Buying a map is a great idea, reading it helps more than just carrying it with you.
If I have a Bible and do not read it, how will I know God's voice when He speaks to me?

Never Alone

The sky is a canvas of progressively gray cumulus clouds. I can almost imagine tornadoes and waterspouts hiding behind the great puffs of moisture infused clouds. The wind has increased in intensity even within the last few minutes. A storm is brewing. A storm on the outside to match that on the inside. How do you defuse a storm? Or do you? Riding out my own personal storm is so much more difficult than riding out a storm with rain, wind and hail--it passes and the air is clean and fresh. Sometimes it leaves damage in its wake, but not always. I think that a personal storm is more difficult because you have less of a handle on it. It's difficult to predict the intensity, length and impact. It also is one of the times in life that God, who we are taught has everything under control, seems to be absent and powerless. Here we stand, alone with the elements beating and battering, barely able to endure the onslaught wondering where God is in all this. I lost my job. It's been several months and honestly the future doesn't look good at the moment. God has promised to prosper me in this yet there are days I wonder if the storm will ever end.