Eiffel Tower, symbol of Paris

The Eiffel Tower, the ultimate symbol of Paris, started as a albatross in the eyes of the Parisian people. Today, it defines what the rest of the world thinks of when they think of Paris. Prague also has an Eiffel Tower--a copy of the original. Been both places.
From a distance, it is impressive
From a distance, it speaks to the world
Close up, it overwhelms yet when you ascend it, it also expands your view of Paris and of the world. Looking out from the top, you are grounded yet with your head in the clouds. Why do we feel that life is a serious venture that has very little joy? Why not in the seriousness have our heads in the clouds a bit too? Dreams, hopes, prayers, are essential to balance the stresses and distresses of life. Lord, help me to see the little joys within the intense disappointments. The gold and silver threads among the dark.

A Half-Baked Story

It has unfortunately been aired about that the Pillsbury Doughboy has died. The autopsy report lists yeast infection as the culprit. Pop Tart has notified the friends and family. Surviving the Doughboy are his Aunt Jemima, Uncle Ben, Hungry Jack, and Betty Crocker. Duncan Hines,the McDonald Clan, and the Campbell Clan will be coming from Scotland for the funeral. Pop Tart will Turnover the proceedings to Swanson's Funeral Parlour who during times of grief, rise in a Jiffy to the occasion. The Doughboy brought such Joy to the kitchen, which resulted in a Bounty-ful Tide of calls to the family. Julia Childs admitted "losing her cookies" when it Dawn-ed on her that it was the Doughboy. She will be providing the funeral Banquet with the help of Marie Callendar. The Boston Market has offered a Helping Hand with Butterballs for the rolls. They would like to do more, but in this tough economy, they are suffering with Lean Pockets. General Mills will Post an honor guard in the Glade where the Doughboy will be lain. Sara Lee, a close friend of the Doughboy, will conduct the ovenside service. The service will be Fry-day at 350 for 20 minutes.

10 Things I Have Learned About Having Adventures

1. Not many adventures just happen, you need to plan them. Granted some people seem to have adventures happening spontaneously in their lives consistently, as a general rule, an adventure requires a certain amount of planning. The year I planned to go backpacking for 60 miles my daughter was seven. Never mind that she threw up before we even walked one step and also that after thirty miles we had to call it quits because the number of blisters on my feet were almost as many as the miles we walked.

2. Just because the adventure didn't pan out the way we planned doesn't mean it was unsuccessful or any less an adventure. The backpacking trip was half as long as we planned, the first nights campground had no water, and raccoons ransacked our packs, but what makes something an adventure is the potential for the unexpected.

3. Other people don't always want to hear about your adventures. I have found that at first people may politely listen to your stories, but after a time, you sense they seem almost jealous. I've had difficulty with this because I love to listen to people tell about their adventures because it is a way I can relive their excitement with them.

4. People like to talk about their adventures. Talking about the adventure brings some of the "rush" of the initial adventure back. One of my adventures I was not allowed to tell anyone for 20 years--until it was declassified. That was SO hard.

5. Adventures run a range of mildly stimulating to outright terrifying. The day I attempted to rappel off the side of a building as part of Jungle Warfare Training easily hit the category of terrifying.

6. Even though a person's life is boring they would rather live their adventures vicariously through movies and books than to actually experience them for themselves. It feels much safer to go the vicarious route. Safe can be pretty boring though. I used to love to read spy adventures and dream of being a kind of 007, saving mankind and coming forth as the heroine with not a hair out of place. I "accidentally" ended up involved in one of those spy adventures for real when I was in the Air Force. Let me tell you, when the pen and ink adrenaline is pumping for real through your flesh and blood body, you find that actual fear is WAY stronger than any author could ever express it.

7. Even small adventures can be fun. Doing something out of the norm can invigorate you, give you something to look forward to , and change your perspective on life. Remember as a kid, looking forward to Christmas, or trips, or whatever? Anticipation and planning can be as much a part of the adventure than the adventure itself.

After Peter got out of the boat to walk on the water, do you think that any of the other disciples wished they would have gotten out of the boat too? Peter's perspective on getting out of the boat had to be different than those still in the boat. They would tell the story from the vicarious viewpoint, whereas, when Peter told the story, it would be about HIS thought, perceptions, and feelings. Who would tell the best story, the one who actually experienced the event or the one who sat back and saw it happen?

8. You can invite others into your adventure, but you will find that few will take you up on it. The adventure may be too risky for some and since it wasn't their idea, others won't want to join.

9. Whether you realize it or not, life is an adventure, whether you see it as such and making the most of it is up to you. Making the most of the adventure makes you stimulating, exciting, and fun to be around. Plodding through life, seeing it as a drudgery and a a rut is reflected in your way of relating to people. So, learn to "do things afraid", lean into the rappelling rope, realizing that it will stretch before going taut. It will be occasionally frightening, but how will you truly describe rappelling down the cliff, parachuting, or hang gliding unless you take that chance.

Sometimes God places you into an adventure not of your choosing. I am in free fall right now and have been since last year when I lost my job. To be honest, even though I have sent out tons of resumes, things don't look good at the moment. The only thing I can do right now is to enjoy the scenery, the experience on the way, and lean into the rappelling rope rather than worry about when or if the rope will hold or even about hitting the ground. God has never let me down in the past and although I have no idea how or where I will land, my "instructor" does, and He will see that I get down safely and that everything will work out.

10. There are some adventures we don't want to participate in. Plain and simple, some adventures suck. Watching a loved one die from cancer, losing a job, having your house burn down or ... Most of these are adventures we had no choice but take part in. These are the type of adventure that determines our level of faith and where it is exactly our faith is based.

I've been on a lot of adventures, both good and not so good, in fact, I've had several people tell me I should write a book. The overwhelming thing that I have learned from my adventures is that I want to keep having them. Life is so much more exciting being colorful versus being black and white. The dark colors make the others more vibrant. If I were to put a paint brush in your hand, would you join my adventure?

Cemetery Sign Language

Sign in a cemetery: Due to the grave-diggers' strike, all grave digging for the duration will be done by a skeleton crew.
"Did you see that? Looks like we'll be busy for awhile. Maybe if we do a good job, we can keep doing the grave digging. It seems like they would want us rather than living people to do the work because it would save the city alot of money and they wouldn't have to pay health benefits."

"I don't know, whenever they have left us to do the mowing, it doesn't go well."

"That's because the north side of the cemetery skeletons keep getting in the way when Bones tries to mow. They seem to think it adds to the ambiance and scaring teenagers isn't as much fun when the grounds look so freshly manicured."

"Whatever. Are you going to volunteer for this new position? It appears that they are thinking it may be temporary."

"I'm thinking it will take a couple of us, maybe more, since our muscles aren't what they used to be. "

"Well, I hear they need a grave done for Saturday. We could give it a try."

"Super. I'll get the shovels. Should we dig during the night or be adventurous and start right now?"

"Watch that shovel. You almost decapitated me."

"This is harder than it looks. I keep getting little stones caught in my feet."

"Yeah, I'm thinking that I hope the strike is over pretty soon. I don't want to have to do this very often."

"They can't say they worked us to the bone. Hee Hee."

"I have a bone to pick with you already. Stop with the corny jokes and dig."

"I was just trying to tickle your funny bone. Hey, look what you've done! Now I don't have a leg to stand on, you Bonehead. Help me reach my femur since you knocked it out from under me."

"Run!! Here comes a dog! I knew this was a bad idea. Whoops, sorry about your femur, looks like Fido is carrying it home."

"Sign Language"

"Quick, Mabel there's a sale at the Tempo store."

"What's the rush? We don't need to get there before it opens."

"But we do. There was a sign out front yesterday that said 'Senior Citizens Buy One, Get One Free'. I want to make sure I get the best of the pick."

"Are you thinking they may be selling MALE senior citizens?"

"Of course, and if I can find one I like, you could pick one for yourself and we'd split the cost."

"I don't know about this. I really don't need anything like that."

"Oh, stop being a spoil sport. It will be fun. Get your hat. We need to get down there before that Shirley from the beauty parlour beats us."

"I can't believe I'm letting you talk me into this. Slow down! We don't need to have to explain to the cops why we are speeding through town."

"Mabel, you should do some more exciting things in your life. This is going to be fun and exciting. You never know how it will turn out and that's the fun of it."

"You certainly are right in saying that we won't know how it will turn out."

"Look, look we aren't the first ones here. If you hadn't dawdled we would have had first looks at the merchandise."

"It appears Sally is wearing her best dress. She wore that to her grandson's wedding last month."

"Shoot. I knew I should have worn my little black dress."

"The store manager is unlocking the front door now."

"Great. I wonder how they are going to handle this. Maybe they will set it up like an auction."

"How do we tell which senior citizens are for sale? They don't seem to have any price tags on them."

"Oh oh Suzy looks mad."

"What's the matter, Suzy?"

"I told that manager I was going to turn him in for false advertising. Can you believe it? They advertise senior citizens, buy one, get on free and then when I tried to do that, the manager told me that that was not what it meant. I pointed out to him that that is what it stated on the sign. He is trying to say that people who are senior citizens can buy something like toothpaste and get one free. He is probably trying to cover up the fact that he didn't have enough senior citizens to go around. "

"He is certainly going to hear about this. We should call the newspaper and the cops. False advertising is against the law. "

"Come on, Mabel. We might as well go home."

Unemployment

I came across some infamous quotes that bear comment.

"I want to make sure everybody who has a job wants a job." (Ronald Reagan)
"I know how hard it is to put food on your family." (George Bush)
"When a great many people are unable to find work, unemployment results." (Calvin Coolidge)

At a local TV News Program:

"Economists have been working long and hard to maintain their jobs since determining that, 'When a great many people are unable to find work, unemployment results'. Since they made that announcement, thousands of resumes have poured into the offices where they work. There have been cover letters which pointed out to the hiring executives that they could do a better job of stating the obvious and perhaps if the useless economists were unemployed, they would be better able to assess the issue."

On the other hand, we need to appeal to those who have jobs and are unhappy with them. For,
as President Reagan said,'We want to make sure that everybody who has a job, wants a job.' If those people who have a job don't want theirs, I'm sure that there are thousands who would be happy to help them out. So, if you have a job, and don't want yours, you may call this news station at 555-555-5678 and those who want a job and don't have one may call 555-555-5679. We have a bank of telephone operators to help both parties.

Also, to those unemployed who are looking diligently for employment, be aware of a growing scam. There are more and more companies advertising for unpaid interns. This is a "legal" way of getting free labor. This makes it difficult to "put food on your family," although, you might be able to use this as an idea for a new exercise program. You could write a book and appear on the Today show, thus propelling yourself into the public eye.

I saw an ad on Craigslist the other day that was a response to people complaining about Kirby vacuum sales jobs being listed and the underhanded things that happen there. A particular person was defending selling Kirbys citing that you should do whatever it takes to make money in this tough economy. And I quote,"i don't sell Kirby's but i do own one. From what i can tell people on hear would rather have some one collect unemployment then sell Kirby's? The reason i am saying this is simple unemployment is at 14% in Michigan pay attention there are not any jobs. So if some one is selling a Kirby and making money great because at least they have a job and can pay there bills. " My question is, "Where are they going to find someone to buy a $3,000 vacuum, if no one is working?" Besides, if you consider the spelling and grammar in this quote, it is "no" wonder they own a Kirby. I am supposing that what is being said is that it is okay to make no money and be taken advantage of as a Kirby salesperson.

As we wrap up this news bulletin, the forecast for the economy is, rain with little chance of let up in the near future. There will be clearing in occasional and varied locations, but watch for intermittent tornadoes. Chrysler is looking to move out of a tornado, just as GM enters one. There is a great deal of debris and rebuilding to take place. No word as of yet as to when things will be operational. Just as Hurricane Katrina victims are even yet recovering, it will be a long hard road for GM and Chrysler and those directly and indirectly effected.

Thanks for tuning in and we will see you again at 11:00 for more.

Chinese Live on Water Part 2

Another take on the headline:

Researchers for the country of China have been experimenting with alternate food supplies. China has, for years, had difficulty feeding its people. After rejecting several food alternatives, the researchers are focusing on water. It seems that water is abundant in most places and it is no secret that the human body has a need for water. Picture this:

"Wife, what's for dinner?"

"Water."

"Again! Can't you do something to make it a little more tasty? It gets a bit bland having it meal after meal, day after day."

"I agree. I was thinking about trying to add some flavor. Mi Ling added dirt to hers last night to add spark, but said her family found it to have a gritty texture and the small rocks kept getting caught in their teeth."

"I saw some flowers, berries and leaves that may have potential."

"I thought of that too. Ling Ling has already tried a bunch of that stuff. It seems that their 'last meal' included berries which turned out to be poisonous."

"I would suggest catching mice or snakes or something like that, but I haven't seen any around since they put us on this water diet."

"I guess we should keep looking for something to add to the water, but for now, we seem to be stuck with same old, same old."

Results of the water diet have turned out to be live changing. China now boasts that they have overcome obesity in their population. Of course, the death rate has risen, however, that has a beneficial effect also. Population control has effectively been achieved. Top government officials have declared the research as "ground breaking". Amazing as it is, the government officials have declined to try the Water Diet.

Quarter of a Million Chinese Live on Water

Actual Headline:Quarter of a Million Chinese Live on Water.
Is this what they really meant?

The Chinese government has, for several years, restricted families to only one child. Now, they have found that somehow rebellious Chinese families have found ways to double that amount resulting in an unacceptable rise in population. The issue to be be resolved is where to put all the excess people. Even though there were several suggestions by top government officials, the most viable solution was to provide houseboats to 250,000 people and chain them together off the coast of China. The advantage to this solution is that, not only would the housing issue be resolved, but food stamps would be reduced, since those people could get their food from the ocean. One official was quickly removed when he asked where the people would use the restroom. It seems that that was a delicate topic not to be discussed.

Those eligible for houseboats should report to the local welfare agency to be placed on the list. The boats should be available sometime this century. For those enterprising individuals, it may be a good time to go into making boats for a business. How many boats do you think would be needed for 250,000 people?

With the Olympics in Beijing, I wonder how the Chinese government would hide all those boats. They would want to, or try to. Bad Press.

Perhaps the U.S. could learn from the Chinese. You know, maybe they have. Think of all the times our government has come up with ideas to solve pressing problems without thinking them through entirely, kind of like the Chinese official asking about bathrooms. Let's think about the GM bankruptcy issue. They threw money at the automakers, who were not making wise decisions up to then, and instead of giving them help in the business decision area, gave them a bunch of money. They didn't know what to do with what they had, why would they do better now? If your kids wasted their allowance time after time on making the same dumb mistakes, would you say,"Here, I know you spent all your allowance and you are a long ways from getting more, I'll just give you more to waste?"